city in the sky

转自张小娴《悬浮在空中的吻》

      每个男人被埋怨不会写情书的时候，他们总是举出一大堆借口，譬如：“我对你是真心的，不用写下来。”“天天都有见面，还用写情书吗？”

      说到底，他们就是不写。情书是那么缠绵、温柔、细致而又感性的文字，男人到底是不擅长的。

      然而，在情人节里，男人好歹也应该写一封情书吧？不会写情书，那么，写一封绑票信也可以，收信人是女人的父母。

世伯，伯母：

       当你们收到这封信的时候，你们的宝贝女儿已经在我手上。

       你们猜得没错，我是用甜言蜜语把她骗回来的。她也是活该的，这么大个人了，还相信爱情是义无反顾地跟一个男人共赴天涯。她还笨得相信爱情是一生一世的事。她笨得可爱，我不绑架她，怎么对得起自己？

       有时候，她会问我：“你爱我吗？”有时候，她又会问：“你会和我结婚吗？”我不禁怀疑是我绑架了她，还是她绑架了我。

       女人的问题，真是很难回答。你们的女儿是什么时候变成问题女人的？

       言归正传，你们一定在考虑赎金问题？这正是我接下来要跟你们谈的。我本来打算勒索你们五千万，但是现在，我打算无条件释放她，她却赖着不肯走。请你们救救我！

一个绑架了你们女儿的蠢材

Today, before i write my blog, i would like to show you some photos first.

How do you find her? Beautiful, right? Yes, she's so beautiful in my eye, not just from her appearance, but her spirit or say her heart. Maybe you know who is Jin Xing, but do you know that this pretty lady is Zhang Kesha, China's first transsexual person? Seems few people knew that. And today i want to introduce you this lady, who i think is very adorable.

First, for more expressive reason, i'd like to use he for her previous life. In 1962, a small boy was born in Changsha, Hunan province in China. His name is Zhang Kesha(张克沙), the seventh child in his family--6 brothers but 1 sister. In order to have some balance within the family, Kesha's parents always dressed him in his sister's clothes and made him keep long hair; and his parents treat him tenderly like he was a girl. Besides, Kesha was special in some ways that differed from his elder brothers. He couldn't go to toilet when he was standing, which in his words not so safe, and on the contrary, he found that much easier when he was squating; He thought that boys are dirty and rude most of time and living among girls is rather comfortable and so on...Many examples can be given to say that he is different from other boys.

In school, he sang songs like a girl, even in higher tones; he always kept a long distance between boys. One day, he accidently met Xiao Qiang(小强) who was 3 years older than him, in a hospital, where both of their fathers were having a treatment. Kesha never knew love till there was Xiao Qiang!

Many days staying together, Kesha and Xiao Qiang also found each other attractive, in one way or another; they talked whatever they liked and felt in love out of control. Xiao Qiang comforted Kesha and gave out his opinion that he didn't care what gender Kesha was. What mattered was that he loved Kesha! They two had a good time the following days, but good time doesn't last long. One day, Xiao Qiang talked to Kesha that he had to leave, to join the army to defend the enemies...You cannot imagine how sad Kesha was at that time. However, there was no choice. To get over lovesicknesses, they from time to time exchanged letters, in which they would show their opinions and make wishes. Kesha remembered one best, "my biggest wish in my whole life is to change you into a real woman." Unfortunately and wishes without realized, Xiao Qiang died in the war...

Sad was Kesha and shock as well; in his heart, hopes that Xiao Qiang made would never be forgotten, never!

Years later, Kesha tried every means to change herself into a real woman. From Xiao Qiang he learnt that transsexual operation could do him this favor. So he learnt English as much as possible so as to master more knowledge of this kind of operation.

Days were terrible when Kesha was still a male. But the god will answer your call if you really ask for and beg from time to time.

Jun10th in 1983, Kesha decisively accepted the operation which he tried very hard to gain and the operation was done successfully; now Kesha became a woman at length!

Times were not that easy as she thought before the operation. Shasha(莎莎), which Kesha changed the former name to, which seemed more suitable for a woman, encountered many difficulties in her job. Like many people came to her working place to watch her, just like seeing an animal in a zoo...No matter how long she worked, she just couldn't exclude those visitors.

But during those times, Shasha met Chen Ping(陈平), who was her third love. He had his own parents. He the same as Xiao Qiang loved Shasha. And what's more, he took the first night of Shasha on the premise that Shasha loved him too... Yes, they both loved each other very much and were going to marry, but failed at last, because of the mother of Chen Ping...

Shasha is a very clever girl, and she was persuasible. When the mother asked her to leave his son with tears, she couldn't be so stubborn to reject her; so, a letter hurt was sent to Chen Ping. The relation between them ended melancholy. At this time, she was just more than 20. 

To forget the past and those troublesome visitors, Shasha traveled to Hongkong, where she got married with Mr. Xiao, who loved Shasha very much but was 30 years older than she. In fact, Shasha didn't love him, the reason she married is just want to get away from her homeland and had someone to rely on. This time, different from Xiao Qiang, Chen Ping was still alive, and one day, they came across each other again! Emotions were still there, but considering his mother, Shasha had no choice! Just like plots in the movie, the actor waiting for the actress for the whole night and winning her heart back the next morning, but this place, this time, this woman and this guy, fates were on the opposite way--Chen Ping left, with the hatred to Shasha.

When she thought everything was going to end, a bad piece of news flied to her several days later! Chen Ping's mother forced him to marry a woman, not Shasha of course; Chen Ping cut his artery to reject; he died in desperate...

Shasha's father passed away at the same time, leaving all the sadness in her heart.

Shasha really needed a new page to draw some colorful pictures in Hongkong this new place, yes, she needs so.

With a single ticket, she found a job in a model company in short round. She was the most beautiful lady there, others were just put out , as electric lights are put out in the sun. She was lucky in some way, many people coming to see her because of her beauty, that made her quite important in the club, but unlucky in another way, one person called Mr.Ye took a fancy to her. He wanted to bring her out and make love... Of course, Shasha rejected, but how could she say no to sinister gang, she escaped from them, and without choice threw away her job.

She found a new job as an insurance agent. She worked heart and soul to master this new "industry", as we said that she was a clever lady, days later she made a rapid progress in her job!

As regards her love journey, she at last fell in love with Yang Shan(亚山), who didn't know that she in fact was he, and also he loved her deeply...This guy was handsome, in my opinion, and he treated Shasha best beyong anyone. From the pictures i know that it's the most happiest moment in Shasha's life. He intended to get married with her, and she intended to devote everything to him. But baby was the only and impossible one that she could not give...

In fact, the matter of baby mattered little, what gave them the most difficult problem Shasha had to deal with?

(keep your eyes here next time on the same page! i'm a little faint...)

PREFACE:

It’s the second English novel I read during my college, the first one named the Secret Garden---A fantastic book showing an ugly lady who, having experienced a lot within her grandfather’s big, mysterious house with 100 doors locked, later changed to be a beautiful lady, author enlightening readers that no matter how you’re now, say, ugly, bitter, unpopular and that sort of, you can still have the promise to become a wonderful person, in the condition that you are candid, friendly, active, open-minded and willing to accept others, doing exercises now and then. and this time, from the school library I borrowed The Fountain, which has a graceful cover, not as thick as other books are, hard for me to read; I finished it within 4 days, and it’s the first time that I really enjoy reading from a book!

The novel is attractive, thin and with few vocabularies that I don’t know; those are the reasons keeps me reading from the start to the end happily. Emily Grayson began her story with “Twenty years ago he’d disappeared without a word, leaving her alone on their wedding day…Now Will Combray has returned, older, but still handsome and unpredictable, throwing Casey Becket’s ordered life into chaos. After his cruel and mysterious disappearance, Casey had turned to her best friend, Michael, the man who knew her as no one else...” What an appealing beginning! Emily is an author whose story is well structured; you cannot stop reading when you have read the previous pages!

This is what Publishers Weekly noted: “Grayson has a gift for capturing how relationships begin and develop and a sympathetically attuned insight into human nature.” Now in the following paragraphs, I will write some comments, maybe I should say some feelings towards the book, for a total ending!

A hard choice----the one you love or the one loves you

Casey had two boyfriends throughout her life, one named Michael, since they were young, they stayed with each other all the time, and the parents of these two guys both hoped that may be one day they can get married, Michael loved Casey very much and cared for her all the time, the other named Will Combray, whom Casey met in the street, that is Will was just a passing-by, but she found him attractive in the way he did and the words he said, with him Casey herself thought true love had appeared. Having betrayed to Michael(they became lovers when they grew up before Casey meeting Will), Casey decided to hold her wedding with Will, but he disappeared without a word. On the contrary, when Casey’s parents died from a car accident, Michael was still by her side, trying his best to pull her out of those tragedies, and even asked her to be his wife! From those events I think you can figure out what kind of persons they are, including Casey.

When Casey and Michael were about to hold their 20^th wedding anniversary, Will suddenly appeared, told Casey how were his past decades like and he showed his wishes that whether she could go together with him, back to Will’s own house.

Facing the so-called true love in Casey’s mind and the one who cared for her more than herself, Casey was trapped into a difficult decision, should she choose Michael or not. Michael---just a good husband but not a satisfied lover, especially in the way they made love, Will---knowing exactly what he wanted, did the right way that Casey also expected to but not as gently and prudently as Michael did. A hard choice, really, between the one you love and the one loves you.

I have knew one principle somewhere that when you marry someone, better to find those who love you more than you do, because in that case a better marriage can be formed, more steady and comfortable. Now I’m not going to give you reasons about that since it is not so difficult to imagine. According to Casey’s case, she again wanted to jilt Michael, despise what he did for her. To Michael, sorry and appreciate were what she felt. But at last, she chose to stay with Michael, living in the same old house, after the secrets were broke out…

Between the courtyards of the two families---Michael and Casey were neighbors---there was a fountain with two angles on the top, long ago it set up after the hedge were torn down---the hedge used to keep privacy as well as their own secrets but as a matter of fact, there were no secrets, so it was unnecessary, parents of the two families pulled it down and later the fountain came into being. It was a reflection of the writer’s point of view, that is, only when no secrets existing between each other, true love then appears!

Will and Michael shared secrets that Casey did not know. Michael beat Will the day before her wedding in that he saw Will had an affair, he asked Will to be faithful to Casey, otherwise he would not let him go(this is quite different from the person Casey knew, gentle and elegant were what Michael used to be; actually he can be such a strong person when he cares for someone!); after Will’s coming back, Casey did visit Will, acquiring the reason why he went away 20 years’ ago, but he had not told her the truth, which at last disappointed her deeply. That’s one reason why Casey chose to marry Michael. And second of all is that Michael moved Casey. If you are quite in love with someone, even though she is not fond of you, you are still pleased to stand by, offering your help. What’s more, if she is having a wonderful time even though you are not her lover, you are still happy about that. Be her angle all the time, keeping your eyes on her regardless of return! I think that’s why Casey at length chose to be Michael’s sincere wife, wearing her wedding dress that had never been worn, facing the meaningful fountain!

Actually, if my situation is identical with Casey’s, I doubt that I would be another madam Bovary! I itch for the one who meant to be my true love, waiting for me in some place in the corner of the world, but at the same time, I also desire to have a reliable husband, just like Michael, who can comfort me when I am sad and depressed, giving me all I want. So I suspect I would have an affair in the future…how sad the “story” is…